I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
