Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
