Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
