Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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