I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
