Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have feelings that need drinking.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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