Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize