so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
