You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
