How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
