And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
