Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
