I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
