Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
