yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
