Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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