I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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