I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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