he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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