Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
