"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I can text with my tongue
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
