He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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