Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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