he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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