There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
