maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
50% drunk capacity currently
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize