You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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