Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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