I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
