Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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