Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
