He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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