some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
