you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
