fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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