He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
