i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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