I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
