awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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