Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
