Where is the hickey?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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