Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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