I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
