i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize