so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
