I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
