This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need a beard to bite.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
