Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Acid is not a monday night drug
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
