sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
