Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
