Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
