and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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