U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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