dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize