I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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