were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
