I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
